When The Strings Attached Begin To Fray

People are stitched to memories & memories are stitched to places.

In our minds, those memories of people & places leave their traces.

What happens when those people leave? 

What happens when those people turn cold & deceive? 

The memories become tainted & tepid

And those places the memories were made are no longer poetic, but leaded.

I cannot find pleasure in this beautiful place anymore. 

It makes me angry & heartbroken to be reminded of times before.

I’ve drifted away from those happy times,

And I can’t even find solace in my rhymes.

I guess the fading away happened on both ends,

Like how stars in a constellation grow dim when the sun transcends.

Now my place in this part of the sky has become dull & muted.

All of a sudden the charted stars must be rerouted.

I have to dance with these shifts & changes–

Make new memories in new places with new faces.

I must be free to discover myself again,

Without all these reminders of who I was back then.

I can no longer glow in this group of stars,

So I will find another constellation to shine in, despite my old scars.

Falling (Poetry Recitation)

Undeveloped mind wanders off a cliff, alone.

The sky turns a rare shade of gold,

As the air cradles the falling thoughts.

Falling– like stars from the heavens.

Glowing, burning, but weightless & free.

Too much, too fast!

Under the pressure of freedom & gravity,

Directions surround.

With too many choices, where does one turn?

Which way does this star fall?

Up?

Down?

Or far away into the horizon?

Choices…

A plethora of options,

Yet, you’re stuck in suspended animation.

Stuck with no place to turn

Forever falling,

Nowhere.

Well…I’m a little nervous sharing this poem… because it’s completely raw & unedited. I decided to challenge myself & do something called “speed writing”. It’s when you set a timer & write whatever comes to mind until the timer stops. I set my timer for five minutes & let the words flow without a second thought. I don’t necessarily know where the inspiration for this poem came from, but I do know that I felt it very deeply, as I was writing it & I’m happy with the result. Since this writing shaped into a free verse piece, I felt the need to express it in spoken word to convey the emotions more. Below is an old video I took of an inspiring sunrise, with an audio recording of me reading this poem dubbed over it. I have never posted a poetry recitation before, so please bear with me. I’m learning the value of being vulnerable for the sake of art & human connection. I hope you enjoy! As always, thank you all so much for reading!!

 

Let No One Take Away Your Brilliance 

I held my light in the palm of my hand.

Hidden within my clutch, it shone with radiance.

I kept it to myself, grasped it tightly-

Always afraid it would burn out if it were set free.

For I knew the darkness of the world could quickly consume. 

I cherished it, until I thought I had found someone deserving.

As per usual, my light became too bright too soon,

Its beams shined through my clutching hands,

And I naively let my fire dance & burn, unguarded.

Sad to say, I was right to hesitate,

My worries & fears became premonitions,

And my premonitions became lucid. 

I innocently assumed the position of the bright veneer to your dark soul.

You began to dim my shining beacon to illuminate your charcoal filled tomb–

Finding a fascination with my purity,

Infatuated with my phosphorescent mystique.

Blinded by, but dependent on my omnipresent light.

You dragged down my brightly burning star to pull yourself out of your black hole.

Sacrificing my most valuable virtue to escape your perpetual darkness.

Leaving me vulnerable & empty,

But I could not be your eternal flame,

To be coddled or shrouded.

I could not shine from your detrimental pedestal,

Only to be veiled by your lonely shadows. 

I refused to let you quell my precious flame,

For without my light, I would be exactly like you–

I would be nothing but darkness.

Waves

I miss the sound & sight,
Of the ocean’s undulations in the moonlight.
Misty mornings with the eagle & the osprey,
Quilted fog blanketing the quiescent bay.
The first snow dusted atop the evergreens,
And the first wild poppy setting spring’s scene.
The humble breathe of autumn upon my skin,
And the smell of saltwater as summer begins.
Sweet days in our pocket of sunshine,
My peaceful place, my sanctuary, my shrine.
I miss dancing with the tide,
In those cresting waves I would confide.
The familiar push & pull,
The run away & the chase– lulled my soul.
In that place I spawned connections as deep as that sea,
With friends, family, & even with me.
There is where I blossomed & bloomed,
And I discovered a side of me I never knew,
I found myself in nature’s intricacies,
It taught me to observe, to take the time to truly see,
I learned not to focus on doing, but to simply focus on being–
To take note of every little thing.
These lessons have stayed with me, but my mind is in a different place,
I look in the mirror & there’s an unfamiliarity to my face.
Again, I feel myself changing & searching for who I am.
Yet, this time I feel like I was pulled into the water, without ever having swam.
Now each night I fall asleep to the rainfall.
And I wake to the fox call,
These days, I dance with the wind in the trees,
Tucked away in this forested alley.
I am trying to learn once more from nature’s ways,
But it’s hard to connect, as much as I did with the waves.

Where East Meets West

Author’s Note: This poem is very special to me. It was inspired by my life & the travels I’ve been on with my family. I was raised by parents who’s relationship would have never existed if it wasn’t for travel. 

My dad was born & raised in New Hampshire. When he was 22 he moved all the way across the country to southeastern Idaho, where my mom was living at the time. She came from a long line of gypsy souls & had moved around most of her life. They soon fell in love & the rest is history. 

Together they’ve lived in many places on both coasts; finding the beauty in all surroundings & learning to be comfortable in different environments. They were constantly torn between the east & west, because they found peace & satisfaction in both places for different reasons. 

My sister & I experience this same feeling because we’ve grown up visiting & living in various states. We’ve encountered different levels of happiness & comfort, unique to each place. Our list of places we want to live when we’re older grows by the day. 

We’ve been taught to believe that home is where the heart is. And the truth is, I’ve left little pieces of my heart in places too numerous to count. Therefore, I’ve made everywhere we’ve roamed my home. The world as a whole is where I feel comfortable & free. 

That is the feeling I wanted to capture in this poem. I hope you enjoy this, for it is about the very foundation of who I am– it is a piece of my heart. 💕 
—Elise 


~

I soar further into the night,
Abandoning the light.
I go where autumn leaves paint rolling hills,
I go where the granite ridges run across the land.
I go where you can see for miles around,
I go where the winter has deep chills.
I go where the fields are speckled with wildflowers.
I go where the sun rises with the waves.
I go where life is rich with history.
I go to the place I grew up visiting in my youth.

I soar back towards the light,
Running away from the night.
Back to where mountain tops touch the sky,
Back to where the winding rivers lead to warmer oceans.
Back to where glacier peaks split the earth.
Back to where trees are ever-green.
Back to where the sun sets over the sea.
Back to where life is still fresh & new.
Back to the wild west.
Back to the place I call home.

From coast to coast,
I leave behind little pieces of my heart everywhere I go,
And I forever carry the memories I make.
Family in the east,
Family in the west,
Split between the two, all my life.
I guess I’m bound to be a traveler,
Spending my days crossing borderlines.

For father followed the sun to find my mother,
And mother chased the moon to reach my father.
I am a child of both horizons.
A product of the sun’s rays & the moon’s beams,
With Atlantic eyes & a Pacific smile.
Appalachian bones & Cascadian skin.
A maple soul & a cedar spirit.
A girl with an eastern mind & a western heart,
Living a gypsy dream.

Heavy

It’s all a trick

Lies thick

Words slurred

Vision blurred

Promises broken

Truths unspoken

Heartless acts

Misconstrued facts

Impulsive thinking

Empathy sinking

Violent passion

Lacking compassion

Blind devotion

Fake emotion

Hopeless cries

Severed ties

Pointless fight

Losing sight

Fading kindness

Glorified unrighteousness

Triggered reactions

Hollow satisfactions

Carnivores uncaged

Quick rage

Wrathful glares

Apathetic stares

Distorted minds

Degrading mankind

Find the light–

Without the fight,

With hopeful prayers

Echoed from monsters lairs.

Finding Balance

Lately this all too familiar place feels like a distant realm,
It has become a foreign land,
I feel like an outsider gazing down upon an unsettling scene,
As if I’m watching the world suffer in the palm of my hand.

I see people waging wars against themselves,
Everyone lives their lives off kilter.
Only motivated by their own selfish needs.
Love & kindness- never real, always untrue & filtered.

The tragedies I perceive, 
Make my soul feel weakened & drained,
For a moment, I can distract my mind by focusing on simple things.
Still, at times I feel empty, then startled by pain.

When all I hear are broken mumbles in my mind,
When I’m feeling everything too much,
When nothing helps, just overwhelms,
Then I need a break to get back in touch.

I need some time to regain perspective,
Time to rekindle the fire in my heart,
I must have time to refill my soul with gentle thoughts,
Then wash clean the slate, and restart. 

But in time, everything I see will again build up inside,
Clouding my mind,
Fogging my perceptions-
Making peace & happiness hard to find.