Simple Wish

Will you meet me in the morning light, 

Under the old climbing tree?

Will you run with me in the golden hour,

Through the quiet flowing field?

Will you sit with me when the moon lights up the sky,

On the creaky front porch swing?

Will you watch the sun set with me,

In the soft green grass?

Will you laugh with me when we see our breath,

In the bitter winter air?

Will you stargaze with me, while music plays,

All through the introspective night?

Will you drive with me, with windows down,

Past the roadside wildflowers?

Will you talk with me, while we ponder life,

Perched atop the old wood fence?

Will you sway with me, when the breeze blows,

Up high on these windy hills?

Will you dance with me, in the falling rain,

While thunder rolls in the distance?

Will you cloud watch with me, from the rooftop,

While the sky is crisp & blue?

Will you walk barefoot with me, along the creek bed,

After a picnic on the bank?

Will you follow me down unknown paths,

Onwards to a new adventure? 

Will you love me, in these simple ways,

While we live in the moment every day?


It’s Okay To Be Gentle

I outreach my palm and grasp for a feeling of warmth,

But wrapped around my shaking hand is nothing but cold, stale air.

Fingers tracing the lines of veins, 

Like feet walking along driftwood.

But I stain my fingertips with dried blood.

And cover the pads of my feet in splinters.

Everything leaves its mark.

Living like canvases,

While life splatters it’s shades of light & dark on our skin.

Caught between a harsh stone grey & cloud white.

My life sketched in charcoal, 

Things like my depression, progression, & expression all written in ink. 

Like I said, everything leaves its mark.

So many moments folding gracefully like an origami crane, 

Beautiful for a second,

Then unfolding back to the dull form of a two-dimensional plane.

I’ve been blessed & cursed with an artist’s mind,

I can only see things differently.

All lines are blurry, all perceptions are abstract & easily skewed.

Everything leaves me feeling.

Feeling too much, too deep.

I experience life too vividly.

I had a dream that someone told me that I loved too much- that I shouldn’t feel things in explosions.

They said I was naive & gullible,

And these words cut so deeply,

Knowing that it is partly true from their outward perspective.

Knowing that’s the impression my gentle spirit tends to give. 

But I’m tired of being played for a fool,

In turn making me play myself for a fool.

If they only knew what goes on in my head,

If they only knew the depths of my oceans.

They only see the surface,

But I see the whole world at the bottom of my coffee cup.

They live their lives, numbly.

But sometimes I feel the sunset so deeply,

I want to kiss the sky.

I hold a universe inside that they’ll never get the chance to know,

For they only see scattered lines on a page & not the picture the lines make up,

They don’t see the story behind it all.

Just because I don’t say much,

Doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say.

Just because I’m quiet,

Doesn’t mean my mind is quiet too.

I am like a paper airplane,

And their judgements are like paper weights,

At times they bring me down,

They try to convince me I was never meant to fly,

Because I am not sturdy & strong,

But I will show them that I can still soar with gentle grace.

I don’t need fury & force to navigate these stormy skies.

I turn to the whistling wind & a sky full of charted stars,

To help guide me through the turbulent currents.

As I fly far above the loveless world,

Covered in the traces that life left behind.

Even though I tread on in softness,

I am not naive & gullible.

I don’t love too much.

And my feelings, though different, are just as valid as your’s.

So give me the respect & compassion that I deserve,

Because, after all, I’m a human too.


One year older, today.

An existence no longer spent counting the months until happier days,

More like counting the months since happier days.

Life full of labels–

Time being one of the many.

An infinite, constant element,

Confined by the restraints we, mere humans, put on it.

No wonder mankind can’t grasp the concept of unlimited,

No wonder we don’t understand forever,

No wonder we fear the unexpected,

When we go around trying to control things as vast & boundless as time & space.

Pigment Of My Imagination 

Sleepy breath getting softer,

Warm thoughts disperse like watercolor paint on damp paper.

Tones & hues move with ease on the blank page,

Like how honey soaked sentiments flow naturally from crooked smiles.

Lovely memories replay in ultraviolet hyperdrive.

Everything gets a little bit brighter,

Until it all shines like marquee lights & shooting stars.

Looking gently through the blushing blue,

Squinting tired eyes, trying to make out the dancing shapes behind the sunset tinted haze of the morning–

Like watching a shadow puppet show through indigo dyed sheets,

Watching for the shadows of feet under the door–

Listening for a velveteen step down the hallway.

The buttery bliss of detaching, catching you off guard,

Like catching the faint fragrance of lilac blossoms in the springtime breeze.

Graced & comforted by the serenity of effervescent feelings for a fading moment.

Yet, it’s all a means to an end,

Until the dawn kidnaps you from that dreamy landscape,

Waking you from the lush gardens of your mind,

Pulling you back into the simplicity of the ordinary.

Autumnal Thoughts On A Summer Eclipse

Being a girl born on the first day of autumn, 

You’d think I would be used to seeing things change,

You’d think I would be used to summer sweetness fading & the days of darkness growing longer.

You’d think I could inherently see the melancholy beauty in the death of growing things,

But I am so worn down by the suddenness of life, 

As I feel layers of who I was flaking off like the bark of a madrona tree.

Uncovering new skin- painfully sensitive, soft, & vulnerable.

Transforming & rearranging into patterns I don’t recognize.

Each thought shifts like a drop of liquid mercury,

Metallic & mysterious,

Never clinging to outside elements, always running off & changing form.

Gradually gathering more of its evil kind-

Until it’s a colossal ball of unpredictable poison, consistently gaining momentum.

Finding myself stuck in its strange gravitational pull. 

Starving to death, 

Yet my stomach feels uncomfortably full on the toxins of tribulations that I can never completely digest.

Observing my own feelings & emotions move swiftly over the surface like water skippers.

Moving too fast-

Too fast to catch,

Genetically predisposed to forever be chasing something unattainable.

Never quite quick enough,

Never quite strong enough,

Never quite bold enough,

Never quite good enough.

None of this by choice,

Its just life’s cruel tricks of light, 

Always dancing in my line of sight.

I guess that is why I am so drawn to the unobstructed rays of the sun.

A light, pure & unfiltered–

Steady & constant.

Without the unexpected chill of the moon momentarily passing through–

Eclipsing the beams of those solar shimmers,

Planting a quick, lingering kiss on that fiery face,

As it leaves the starry eyed sun, alone, in the big blue sky, 

Without hesitation in its lunar goodbye.

Transparent Walls of A Guarded Heart

Watching drips of disappointment build up one by one,

Like watching the puddle of tears on the bathroom floor grow deeper & deeper.

Onset mindset,

Onset disconnect.

Suddenly, by a newfound default,

The inner-guards stand higher than ever before–

Turning a picket fence into the Berlin Wall.

So suddenly surrounded by instinctual shields,

Shields that are made of glass–

Transparent & sincere, but the inside is untouchable.

Rarely letting anything get close enough to enter the vast & lonely realm of visceral intuition.

A realm that is a special inward palace– crucial for serenity & sanity’s sake. 

Those crystalline barriers shining in the sunlight, 

Enticing people to come near, yet ultimately dividing & looming like towers,

Casting eerie shadows & daunting silhouettes in the moonlight.

Unwanted formations arise.

When those glassy castle doors open up, 

And are shot down or not well received,

The overprotected inner world, so full of idealism & purity, becomes deformed & misshapen from the inside out. 

Abruptly changing the blueprints of the foundation of placidity & peace. 

Leaving the landscape plain & devoid of the essence of its identity. 

Now, in its place, sits the irrational fear of waking up to being given the Heimlich Maneuver–

Choking to death on this apathy that creeps up your throat like a parasite.

How then does one face them self in the mirror when the only reflection is a now dried up ravine that used to be something as strong & alive as an ocean? 

All that stares back is a meaningless object whose original purpose has been abused & far-forgotten, 

Like an empty bath tub who’s drain was pulled so long ago that the only thing remaining is a molding puddle of water,

Or a table covered in inches of dust, with stale bread, half eaten, sitting bleakly on a cracked plate,

Or a perfectly placed bouquet of flowers, left browned & dead in their painted porcelain vase covered in cobwebs. 

A sight so unnerving, that you are overcome with waves of confusion when you try to understand it. 

An unfinished scene that leaves you feeling so uneasy & disturbed that weeks later it still flashes in your mind the second you flutter your heavy, puffy eyelids closed at the end of the day.

It sits there in the back of your mind, anchored like a tick in your scalp, 

Slowly feasting & sucking you dry,

Until it consumes you completely & leaves you groping for an ounce of relief. 

Contradictory Idiosyncrasies 

I run, 

To catch my breath.

I fall,

To fly.

I hurt,

To make joy meaningful.

I cry,

To feel laughter deeper.

I hide,

To face my fears.

I yell,

To remain silent.

I whisper,

To speak up.

I hush,

To have a voice.

I wake,

To dream.

I dream,

To feel awake.

I pause,

To start again.

I sleep,

To open my eyes.

I withdraw,

To connect.

I release,

To refill.

I guard,

To open up.

I learn,

To forget.

I forget,

To remember.

I dig,

To reach the surface.

I float,

To sink into the deep.

I wander,

To feel grounded.

I worry,

To be content.

I care,

To be carefree.

I hold,

To let go.

I tie,

To cut loose.

I feel,

To be numb.

I numb,

To feel.

I restrain,

To set free.

I jump,

To stand still.

I live,

To survive.

I survive,

To live.

I run,

To catch my breath.

I fall,

To fly.